It's fine to drink at the end of the week; it's kind of a quick, temporary way to relax. But, last night, I had seven beers. That's a lot for me, and so I've been extremely unmotivated and moody all day. I guess I'm supposed to take alka seltser, but who the hell wants to drive all the way to the store when you feel like crap.

I've been feeling the need to get new friends. I'm attracted to people who are honest and creative, and those kind of people rub off on you--I want that.

I'm supposed to go to this birthday party tonight. I hate parties, but I need to get out of the house for my own mind-health.

Also...I want a girlfriend...my independence won't suffice. I just a need a tiny bit more more motivation in that area. It just seems that when I attempt to pursue someone, I feel like I'm forcing something to happen. Then, I inevitably become good friends with them, and it gets all emotionally confusing--I'm fed up with that cycle.

I've been writing confidently lately. I'm writing a novel, and just doing the first draft. The key for me was to not do any revisions to my first draft, even if I didn't like the idea of doing something. And, also, not worry about how critically acclaimed or special it will be to people. Write your heart, and be real about yourself.

The best part about writing is getting deep in the zone, where you feel like you can write creatively for hours. It's euphoric.

It seems that I'm always struggling to actually write something, but I let my mood dictate when I'm going to write something. I need to just write something, even if it sucks. I guess I've always struggled with performance anxiety, but this is just a matter of sitting down, and doing it. I hope I'll overcome this.

Current Mood: complacent